Who are you?
Most of the time when I meet someone for the first time, they tend to ask in the first 3 questions, What do you do for a living? I used to not think much of it. But the more I thought about it, it began raising questions. Why are we defined by what we do for work? Does your job somehow make you a person worth knowing? Is it that we base our knowing someone on what we can get out of them because of what they do? Or is it that your identity is in what your employment is.
As men we tend to make what we do our identity. I have worked for the Fire Department for 12 years. But that is not who I am. I am a husband, a father, and a friend. Those traits are what make me who I am. Nowhere in that list did you see firefighter, because that is what I do for my job. Yet on the opposite side of that, I know some people who being a firefighter is their world. They drive a red truck, the have every firefighter related sticker on that truck, they wear firefighter t-shirts everywhere they go and so on. Which if that's your thing have at it. I believe that to a certain degree,that the people that are consumed by their job title are missing out on who they really are. If they woke up tomorrow morning and they did not have that job any longer, they would be lost. You hit a scary point when you lose your identity in what you do. You become consumed by your job. When you quit or retire, you have an identity crisis.
I went through a situation like this years ago. I was so consumed with doing for everyone else as well as in my marriage, that I did not really know who I was. Especially in the context of my marriage, most of the time I would do as my wife wanted. I would eat the food she wanted, go to the movie she chose, and so on. I didn’t want to make decisions, so I let her make them for the both of us. But there was a point that I lost who I was in trying to please her. I had to rediscover my likes and dislikes. It took some time but now I know the man I want to be and the man I currently am.
I saw a commercial where you can get a DNA test to tell you who you are. Although a DNA test can tell you where you came from, it doesn't tell you who you are. Your life choices determine who you are. The relationships you build, the character that you have, and the morals you uphold. Those are a few of the things that make you YOU.
Take some time and really think about what makes you, you. For instance, What do you enjoy doing in your free time? You can even start out with easy ones like, What is your favorite food? or What is your favorite dessert? Once you discover what you like and dislike, you will have a better understanding of yourself. This gives you a starting point to build on. Remember, Your job doesn’t define you. Be the best you that you can be, because everyone else is taken.
